Carolina, Carolina
and now these static barriers
and these lavish words away
worlds are pulling us apart
but stubbornly we stay.
our fingers grasped, contorted
have worn down to the bone
and skin upon skin pulling tightly,
we are each others own.
but waves of silence wash upon these
pale white shores, once sand mingled together
now separated stones are moving in the dusk
and the flaxen wax melting her only leaves a husk.
Heroin Chic
Don't you want to be a waif?
Skinny thin purging shell
Bopping around from man to man
Kicking the street lights' glow across
the city, all a part of your plan.
Stretching your ribs around
swaying in the winter breeze.
Slopping all over those thighs
and skimming those hot spots
with exceptional smiling ease.
Don't you want to be a waif?
Bony fingers wrapping around
those cervical vertebrae
Knock kneed ligaments reverberate
To the pulmonary artery, now separate
And tear your pulsing lips away.
Wouldn't it be great to be a waif?
I love the muted colors and line work, so delicate. The stylistic faces are genius.
Again, that face is just perfect.
I think I remember too much stuff. is that a girl thing? or just a 'me' thing?
I mean, it's not bad to remember and think of the really important memories, or embarrassing ones even... but some things it would be nice to just erase.
I guess these thoughts are arising because I watched 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'... but the point of that film (even though I figured out the ending halfway through...cus I'm just that smart!) was to remind the audience that every person and memory is of value, and not to wish to wipe them completely from your mind... and even bring it up, even if it hurts to remember it.
Like, I wonder why we meet some people in our lives, if they are just to fade away and disappear into a faint memory. Does that person have a purpose to be integrated into your life's timeline beyond when you talked/met/ spent time with them? Are they supposed to serve some purpose or teach you a life lesson? Or perhaps, life is arbitrary and friends and acquaintances come and go as they please, they dance merrily into your life and then exit violently or passively. No contact after they trampled your thoughts, leaving you wanting encore after encore;leaving you clapping until yor handsare rubbed raw, your tendons and bones ache; you yell and scream their name until your voice is sore and burning... but they never come back onto the stage. They packed up and left for another performance long ago.
I'm a pretty happy person, I don't mean to be being all "doom and gloom." However, like I said, I remember too much from the people that no longer dance around my stage, and it bothers me for some reason. I don't want the thoughts to pinch and nag at my mind, but they don't care. They conjure up dreams, thoughts and memories all too quickly. They conjure up the past when I don't want them to, forcing me to remember this past part of my life. Some times, it comes in the form of just a harmless sentance that a former friend or love interest expressed, I can feel myself smiling, reveling in the warm and lucid memory. But then, frigid reality slaps and shakes me... reminding me that, that person is no longer there with me or speaks to me.
Even though it hurts to remember those encounters, it still isn't all horrible. After all, the absent person still said what they said. They still expressed joy, love, humor and kindness; and I believe it was genuine. It had to be, for them to speak it or express it and that is enough to keep me going. The fact that they meant love or joy at one time, even if it was in the past, is still valid. Even if they don't express it now, or perhaps they never will again... it still happened. You can't change the past, just your own future.
I still think that I remember too much though!
A little Tegan and Sara to illustrate my point a bit better... :]
so, this morning after french class i found my camera had mysteriously hopped into my backpack. i decided to take a walk to the graffiti wall and see what i could see.
and this is what i saw:
i thought about seahorses today. did you know that seahorses are monogamous? also, the guys take care of the little babies while they are sill in their eggies. scientists say this is because the girlie uses twice the energy generating the eggies than the guy does incubating the egg. she would die if she had to carry them. that guy seahorse must really love that girlie seahorse to take care of all the baby eggies.
another thing about seahorses, those girlie seahorses really love to be courted around by their guys. they court for several days, even while others try to interfere. during this time they have been known to change color, swim side by side holding tails or grip the same strand of sea grass with their tails and wheel around in unison in what is known as their “pre-dawn dance”. they eventually engage in their “true courtship dance” [sexy sex!] lasting about 8 hours, during which the guys pumps water through the egg pouch on his trunk which expands and cleaves open to display an appealing emptiness.
she completes him. how nice.
but the girlie doesn't just leave after she knocks her guy up, she visits him daily for “morning greetings”. thegirlie seahorse swims over for about 6 minutes of interaction reminiscent of courtship. they change color, wheel around sea grass fronds, and finally promenade, holding each other’s tails. then, the girlie swims away until the next morning, and the guy goes back to vacuuming up food through his snout.
i would like to be danced into love like the seahorse one day; although not any time soon. maybe with something elegant and smooth like the waltz, or something spicier and vexing like the salsa.
don't worry ladies, men still dance for the attention of us beautiful women in other parts of the world:
so, i bring it back around to seahorses. love 'emso much, i think i'll get this little guy tattooed on my left leg...and perhaps i'll find my own seahorse one day!
